Hell’s Foundations Quiver by David Weber
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

WARNING: THIS REVIEW WILL CONTAIN A GREAT DEAL OF PROFANITY. IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY PROFANITY, PLEASE DO NOT READ IT.

Hell’s Foundations Quiver (Safehold #8) was a fantastic book. But David Weber, the author, is a first class ASSHOLE and I’m getting really sick of this addictive fucking series he’s written. This is the fourth straight book with the war in Siddermark and with where the book ended, it’s clear to me that there will need to be between two and four more books before this war is concluded, if then. And that’s too goddamn much. Damn it, the first war was over in one book, the first. The second war, between Charis and Corisonde, was over in one book. Why the fuck can’t this fucking war be over in one fucking book??? Why the hell does it have to stretch over four fucking books, and now apparently many more? WTF? Weber is obviously a greedy fuck who has discovered that if you write 1,000 page books in such incredible detail from so many perspectives, you can draw a war out six or eight or 10 books and suckers like you and me will pay countless millions for them. Cause it’s admittedly an awesome story. In fact, it’s the best story I’ve ever read. That’s why I keep coming back to it, even with all the stupid names I resent so much and even with all of the phrases Weber has his characters repeat on virtually every other page until you want to bash your head into the wall. Countless reviewers have commented on how slow the plot is. Well, he’s slowed it down even more. Even though this book is probably the best Siddermark book in the series, and even though it’s full of action and battles, nothing really happens. There’s no progression. No resolution. Just a military stalement for yet another year, basically. So why write the fucking book at all? Because Weber wants to make bank, that’s why? Greedy prick! I’d love to tell that SOB off. He’s the most amazing writer, even with his bad, annoying habits, and can create the most amazing worlds, but damn, he manipulates his readers with his unbelievably slowed down and unresolved plots. Yes, it was good to see the vicars, the Group of Four, freaking out. Yes, it was good to see Charis and Siddermark settling some debts, militarily. Yes, it was damn good to see Merlin slaughter some bastard Army of God fanatics again. And, yes, like the ending of the last book, the ending of this book was pretty good, with Merlin appearing out of the blue before Earl Thirsk of Dohlar. Presumably in an attempt to save his life. And since this book began with where the previous book left off, it’s safe to assume the next one will too. (And the first chapter of this book was excellent!) But, dammit, do I have to wade through umpteen more battles I’ll never remember with newer weapons that barely progress technologically with lots of politics and religion and realistically nothing at all happening? Cause if I do, I’ll never read another fucking Weber novel again. I already hate his guts for doing all this shit to us. I already resent him for his obvious manipulations of his readers. Does he really have to string it out so damn long? And not only that, but when the war in Siddermark is finally over sometime in, oh, book 12 or so, will we FINALLY get to see Charis invade the Temple Lands and attack Zion and finally pay back the Group of Four like we all have been dying to see for the last eight books? When the hell is that going to happen? Or is Weber going to string that war out for five or eight books too? Cause if he does, I’ll be dead before this series is done and frankly, he’s no younger than me, so he might want to consider finishing the fucking series before he dies himself. Asshole. And what about getting humanity back to space? When the hell is that going to happen? In book 35? I mean, really? WTF? Weber started an excellent series and then got carried away and now he’s dug everyone a hole they’ll never get out of. What a cruel bastard. Honestly, if you read this book on its own merits, it’s a five star book. It’s really good. But you can’t do that. Because it’s part of the series and because it’s a big part of the war in Siddermark sub-series, which Weber has yet to come close to completing and I’m so damn pissed about that, I’m inclined to give the book one star. Because that’s what Weber deserves. So I’m compromising and giving it three undeserved stars. I guess if you’re reading the series and haven’t already given up, you’ll have to read this, so it’s recommended, but otherwise, give up now while you still can. Cause this series isn’t going to be over for the next 20 fucking years.

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