My rating: 2 of 5 stars
I’m so pissed off I read this book. It took a real stretch of imagination to buy into the virtual reality world the author creates, but then you reach the ending and it’s so insanely stupid, you wonder what the hell you just did and why. I’m never going to get those hours of my life back!
Jack Burroughs is a sysadmin for a large multinational corporation who loses his day job because of a vindictive new boss. However, in his off hours — which he now has a lot of — he resides in cyberspace, in a virtual reality world. He likes to hang out in a virtual bar called Heaven, where he has created a cool version of himself, unlike his mega-nerd reality. He hangs out there with his best friend. Strangely, a hot woman calling herself Amber comes along offering him a million dollars to commit cyberpiracy and steal some files from his former employer, or so he thinks. He takes her up on it, with the support of his buddy, and is shipped some cutting edge virtual reality gear, which includes gloves, footwear, a bra, and yes, an anal dildo. That took some doing on the author’s part. Still, he jacks up, goes in, gets the info, delivers it and is told it was only a test. Now he has to do the hard part — the real job. Well, you would think thievery from a large corporation with strong defenses would be hard, but now he has to go up against — get this — an author. Yep, a big, bad writer. Who works with the Department of Defense on his insipid novels, so he allegedly has all of the cutting edge cyber defenses. That was really hard to believe. Nonetheless, he and his virtual reality buddies storm the place and he gets waxed, waking up — I think — in what’s supposed to be a semi-real courtroom, staffed by a teddy bear judge, a prosecuting doll, and a bird, among others. There he’s sentenced to exile on a deserted island, where he apparently goes, only to wind up a beach boy in Hawaii. And that’s the end. How freakin’ STUPID is that??? It’s like the author wrote himself into a corner with his craziness and decided to go balls to the wall with total insanity to end the book because he couldn’t think of anything better. This was a stupid book and I can’t believe I wasted parts of two otherwise good days on it. Certainly not recommended. Not even good cyberpunk. Oh, and the author claims to have invented the word “cyberpunk,” just as an FYI. Whatever.
hankrules2011 
Oh my Scott, this must have been bad. I must say your review was terrific and hilarious; and from the sound of it, the most enjoyable thing associated with this one. Thanks for the heads up. Definitely NOT going on my “someday” list.
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